The feeling of empty;
I feel like I’ve been mindlessly filling my time without any meaning. I go work early and I leave work late. Sometimes even coming homing from work, I’ll work on work.
I feel this urge to fill my life to somewhat make me feel productive. But all these are mindless, unmeaningful work. A part of me says the work I am doing is all for the better future. It is to impress my bossess and colleagues; to show that I am abled and valuable to the organisation. Just so I can keep my job and earn my money. But does it really matter? Because I don’t entirely feel so. It’s not like I have an impressive job or earn impressive money.
I see the successes of my friends. I see the happiness of the people around me. But I don’t feel them myself. All I feel are the emptiness, fear and anxiety. It’s a scary corner that creeps up sometimes. I try to stay away from it.
Because I know I can do better. I know I am capable of doing so.
I just need to figure out how.