Looking back at 2018, I realized that I haven’t been grateful. And in turn, I wasn’t being kind to myself.
I have always wanted to do and build something that I can be proud of.
So in 2018, I was caught up in this frenzy, putting a lot pressure on myself and expecting so much from myself so quickly. And when things did not work out, I ended up derailed and upset at myself for not succeeding. Thinking back, I’ll admit that I was ambitious and probably over-confident.
But at that point – I was blinded by the negatives in my life; I failed to see what I have accomplished. Although the glass was half-glass full, I was obsessed with my failure for not filling the glass full that all I saw was the other half of emptiness. I felt empty.
It then came to a point where my life felt like it was in a black hole. Because I felt so terribly, horribly miserable inside. I honestly have never felt so lost. Another thing that had me feeling so horrible inside was the fact that I have been comparing myself to others and their successes. So that definitely made me felt worse as well.
So, slowly…as I took a pause in life and looked back into the year and reflect, I started to count my blessings.
- Finally got a permanent job contract after working for a year
- Got engaged to my favourite person
- Bought a house with my favourite person
- Saved enough for our house reno
- My love ones are happy and healthy
- I got to travel a lot and experienced new experiences
And when you’re counting blessings, you could go on and on… I finally understood the meaning to be grateful. Because I now know that I have been lucky to have what I have. My heart, mind and soul are now in a right place to do and be better.
The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception to such an extent that it changes the world you see. – Dr Robert Holden
So this 2019, I want to focus seeing the glass half-full (rather than half-empty) and just be happy.
Count your blessings and appreciate them everyday.
Take more photos & videos, to remember the happy memories and look back at them during your dark days.
Remember that baby steps are still steps forward.
And most importantly, be kind to yourself.